MORRIS, CHRIS Blue Jam (Warp) cd 17.98
I have become completely obsessed with Chris Morris. He makes me sad. Sad that we don't have anyone nearly as funny in the United States.
He's been a staple of British radio / television for years now. And it seems like since day one, he's been trying to get himself blackballed. Or killed. His BBC program The Day Today, was a Today Show parody. Complete with a washed up, neurotic weatherman (the also amazing Steve Coogan), a narcissistic and completely cruel host (Morris), and a gorgeous and ice cold business reporting babe that spoke in complete gibberish. After The Day Today was cancelled, came Brass Eye, one of the funniest shows I have ever seen. This time a parody of evening news programs like 48 Hours or 60 Minutes, taking things even further. The goal of this show seemed to be to publically humiliate trusted government officials and public figures (quite successfully we should add) and contributed to Brass Eye's rather brief run. Then came Blue Jam, a totally surreal and unstructured radio show. featuring bizarre (and often offensive) free association / high (low) concept skits over music from a who's who of modern electronica / trip hop (Later turned into an even more unstructured television program called Jam. loosely adapted from the radio show). The Blue Jam cd is basically the best bits from the Blue Jam radio show, featuring Chris Morris and a few other folks, eating and killing and arguing and shitting off their limbs (?) over music from Labradford, Propellerheads, Amon Tobin, Funki Porcini, Herbaliser, Brian Eno, Aphex Twin, Fila Brazillia, 9lazy9, Clifford Gilberto, Jimi Tenor, and more. Until we can get Brass Eye over here, Chris Morris comes to you only via Blue Jam, quite possibly the funniest headphone mindfuck ever.
RealAudio clip: "Blue Jam 05"
RealAudio clip: "Blue Jam 07"
RealAudio clip: "Blue Jam 12"
RealAudio clip: "Blue Jam 16"
RealAudio clip: "Blue Jam 20"

MORRISON, BILL The Balloon Man (Sharpeworld) cd 23.00
Whoa, this is really... something! This cd is subtitled "40 one minute BIO-VIGNETTES by BILL MORRISON Recorded in 1971". And yes, it certainly is.
So, who the heck is The Balloon Man? Well, we're certain that he's not Bill Morrison the filmmaker who made Decasia, nor is he Bill Morrison the videographer/musician who plays with Skinny Puppy. Nope, they're different fellows altogether. This Bill Morrison was a real 'one-of-a-kind' -- a peculiar nightclub performer who back in '71 concocted the idea of pre-taped one minute long radio shows. He believed they would make for a lucrative career move. Problem was, no one else at the time agreed. And it's not really all that hard to see why. But we know as well as you, that there's just not enough stuff like this in the world. If only we were around (well AQ was, but WE weren't) to stand up and proudly proclaim the... um... brilliance of this wacked and damaged disc.
A Morrison minute can range from a totally focussed yet still absurd commentary to a completely oblique bizarre tangent. Along the way he touches on subject matter such as cars, brain tumors, coats, rectal disease, Leonardo DaVinci, wanting to stay in the womb when he was being born, and yes balloons. Hear him chuckling to himself about the how-to's of balloon blowing, getting himself riled up about blowing up balloons in different social situations, hollering a short phrase like "I sometimes think I should be! Y'know!" or "Oh oh oh oh oooh oooooooooh!" repeatedly until he's filled up the 60 seconds, and assorted other funny voices, noises and yuks. Sometimes he even continues to rant right over the cheery banjo'n'horn theme music that ends each vignette. Be sure to read the segments' titles, they're a hoot all by themselves! "Leftover Turkey", "Simple Balloon Animals: a Sequence", "Sex Between The Big Toe", "Make A Balloonskin Coat", "Bleeding Salmon", "In The Water But There's Something But You"!
So yeah, you might've guessed the shows never aired. A year later along came Mal Sharpe (of the inimitable, 1960's absurdist men-on-the-street Coyle & Sharpe -- if you haven't done so yet, please do yourself a favor and familiarize yourself with this duo... seriously!) who decided to make a short film about this Balloon Man. Now jump ahead over thirty years, and Sharpe's daughter Jennifer has just released those long-unheard recordings on cd. Whew! These forty unrelenting minutes could almost be a fairground attraction. How much can you take? Last 'til "Leftover Turkey" win a pencil! Last 'til "Go Climb A Rock" win a pair of socks! Last 'til "Balloon Man Take Me To Wherever You Are Going" win a date with Balloon Man! Okay, not quite. One thing though, be sure to listen to it in a relatively quiet setting 'cause if your space is even remotely noisy you'll probably only be able to hear random mumbles, hoots and guffaws between the much more, ahem, stable crystal clear theme music.Ê
Very limited edition of 300 packaged in very sharp lookin' (oops, no pun intended) letterpress printed covers.
MPEG Stream: "Sex Between The Big Toe"
MPEG Stream: "Balloon Person's Birth"

MORRISON, VAN Celebrities At Their Worst 3.1: Van Morrison's Contract Breaking Sessions (M.D.W.C.G.C.G.) cd-r 11.98
THIS IS CURRENTLY OUT OF PRINT OR OTHERWISE UNAVAILABLE TO US AT THE MOMENT, SO PLEASE DO NOT ORDER IT. SORRY.
Having been released both in excerpt and complete form at various times in the past, the Mad God... label has decided to take a stab as well as part of their Celebrities At Their Worst series. The story goes that Bert Berns, who ran the label "Bang" on which Morrison released his first album, proceeded to release an album from a later session of recordings against Morrison's will. After Bern's passed away from a heart attack in 1967 his widow offered to release Morrison from his contractual obligations providing he record one more album for the label and give Bang Records the publishing rights. Rather than give them Astral Weeks, he slapped together 31 tracks of tomfoolery, many of which poke fun at Berns and his musical tastes.
RealAudio clip: "The Big Royalty Check"
RealAudio clip: "Want A Danish"
RealAudio clip: "Dumb Dumb George"

MR. SHOW The Complete Fourth Season (HBO) 2dvd 39.00
What will it take for us to convince you that Mr. Show is the greatest "sketch" comedy show EVER? Thimbles? Fake poo? Wyckyd Sceptre? Marilyn Monster Pizza Parlors? Probably nothing will do it at this point, you're either with us or against us. Us Mr. Show fans have to enjoy our obsession in secret (some of us here even have to sneak out of bed late at night and watch with headphones, so as not to wake our significant other who'd surely discipline such behavior). For those of you who do love Mr. Show and miss anticipating a new season every year, be sated with these final two discs. Not only will you get to relive the final ten episodes, but also enjoy some new items. Like the DVD reissues of the earlier seasons, this one has the usual hilarious commentary with Bob & David on all but one episode. Plus there's outtakes from the first three seasons, bloopers, "The Naked Improv" from a 1998 Comic Relief appearance, "The Grand Reunion" featurette and a Mr. Show Jukebox of songs from the entire series.

MR. SHOW The Complete Third Season (HBO) 2dvd 35.00
Best sketch comedy show ever. Hard to know what else to say. Everyone here has been OBSESSED with Mr. Show since it first aired on HBO years ago. To the point that some of us even spent a fortune buying crappy quality bootleg tapes on Ebay just to be able to see the show again! So we were SO EXCITED that HBO finally planned on releasing all four seasons! FUCK YEAH! A crazy mix of video and live sketch comedy starring Bob Odenkirk and David Cross. Cross you might recognise from his numerous guest appearances: Men In Black 2, Scary Movie 2, and about a million TV shows as well as his comedy record on Sub Pop 'Shut Up You Fucking Baby.' Mr. Show is brilliantly twisted, offensive and foul mouthed, ridiculous and unbelievably clever, obsessed with sex, drugs, rock and roll, reality police shows, old folks, streaking, British people, and of course cock rings! This is season three and features the amazing Sid And Marty Croft spoof Drugachussetts which is worth the thirty five bucks all by itself. And if you decide you are as obsessed as us, we can also order you the first and second season DVD set!

MUMIA ABU JAMAL / MAN IS THE BASTARD split (Alternative Tentacles) cd 10.98
Ultra PC "kick in the balls" to indie kid complacency. Mumia, accused of killing a cop, speaks from his cell on death row. MITB add their two cents by bashing in your skull with a two-bass-and-drums hash-induced 4 song assault. PC, my ass. (Includes contributions from Allen Ginsberg, Jello Biafra, Assata Shakur, and Bob Dole. Really.)

NARDWUAR THE HUMAN SERVIETTE Doot Doola Doot Doo... Doot Doo! (Alternative Tentacles / Nardwuar The Human Serviette Records) 2dvd 21.00
If you have even a tiny inkling of who or what Nardwuar The Human Serviette is, you know this is a big fucking deal! For years and years, the contents of his monumental interview archive vaults have only been accessible in bits and pieces on his home-compiled VHS tapes, on his weekly college radio show in Vancouver and on brief Much Music appearances in Canada, but now finally you can take a heaping double platter home with you!!! Are you prepared? For five and a half hours worth? Well, if you're unsure as to whether you have the endurance for it, we strongly recommend that you brace/pace yourself, and don't be dissuaded. Stock up on snacks, take the phone off the hook, you'll be okay. Hell, you don't have to watch it all in one sitting, but once you get started it might be hard to stop.
Many less observant, less hardy folks might dismiss the tartan capped, high-pitched Nardwuar The Human Serviette as simply a hyperactive irritant with a microphone -- lumping him in with seemingly similar in-your-face tightly-wound personalities such as fellow Canuck Tom Green, but first (and second) impressions can be deceiving. While we have to admit many of his disarming, oft-infuriating, absurd tactics do closely resemble those of more self-aggrandizing gonzo interviewers, there's definitely something else going on with this infamous irrepressible staunch Canadian. Let's take for example his unbelievably obsessive researching skills. For each and every potential interview subject, he consistently bloodhounds out the obscurest, mundanest, yet oddly fascinating facts that effectively stop the interviewee in his/her tracks. Y'know, those little skeletons in the closet that they themselves don't even remember, and that via Nardwuar have come back to haunt them much to their glee or chagrin.
In the early days, he started out by primarily digging into the nooks and crannies of the indie music scene doing interviews for his radio show. As his own notoriety grew so did his scope, broadening to encompass the whole show biz industry. Along the way he's also delved deeper and deeper into other media related areas and points of interest (politics, self-help, tele-evangelism to name a few).
The list of people to whom he's somehow gained access is in itself nothing short of mind-blowing (over 60 interviews are featured on this dvd set and that's a mere drop in this Serviette's bucket) -- Mikhail Gorbachev, Dan Quayle, Gene Simmons, Pam Grier, Marilyn Manson, Destiny's Child, Gwar, Kelly Osborne, Slayer, Ian MacKaye, Vanilla Ice, Franz Ferdinand, Wesley Willis, David Cross, Busta Rhymes, Michael Moore, Cradle Of Filth, Blur, Henry Rollins, Thor, Ernest Angley.... And that's not even counting his multiple interview encounters with Snoop Dogg, Courtney Love and Jello Biafra over the past decade.
Clearly people love him, hate him and love to hate him, but when he suffered a brain hemmorhage a few years back, it was nothing but an outpouring of love and admiration that came his way from all walks of life. While hospitalized he received an avalanche of gifts and well-wishes (including a painting by and from David Lee Roth!), and even had to have his own bedside payphone to take all the calls that came flooding in. But now fortunately he is back on his feet wreaking havoc with this, his most comprehensive crowning glory to date. Granted it's not for everyone, but those who rise to the challenge will be duly rewarded with a thorough schooling of headscratching useful and useless facts, figures and trivia, will be thoroughly entertained along the way, and will find themselves responding with a resounding "Doot Doo!"
Also included: lots of sights and sounds of Nardwuar's bands (The Evaporators and Thee Goblins), an eye-straining 16 page boooklet, and yes of course, audio commentary!

NARDWUAR THE HUMAN SERVIETTE Welcome To My Castle! (Nardwuar / Mint) 2dvd 28.00
Time to give your eyes, ears and funny bone a workout! To prepare yourself we suggest you drop and give us twenty! Heh heh... here's the prequel to Nardwuar The Human Serviette's 2006 double dvd interview extravaganza Doot Doola Doot Doo... Doot Doo! (please see our review of that release if you need a Nardwuar tutorial). What d'ya know, it's another double dvd interview extravaganza! How does he do it?! The superhuman Canadian Nardwuar packs every nook and cranny of these dvds with wild'n'woolly entertainment. Totalling a whopping five and a half hours in running time, Welcome To My Castle! contains his two cable TV specials that he produced back in the '90s, and a plethora of interviews with such varied celebrities as Bob "Gilligan" Denver, The Monkees' Mickey Dolenz, Tommy Chong, Ron Jeremy, Timothy Leary, Cynthia Plaster Caster, Jello Biafra, Flea, Courtney Love, Sonic Youth, Nirvana, Anthony Robbins, Tom Vu, former U.S. President Gerald Ford, former Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Elliot Trudeau, and many many more! Some are total gutbusters, some are jawdroppers, some are a bit tense, and some are sublime.
Plus you also get a bunch of new vids by his band Thee Evaporators (be sure to check out their latest full length Gassy Jack And Other Tales which we've also reviewed on this here list!). Pssst, the dvds' menus and chapter titles were all hand-lettered by Cup from I Am Spoonbender!

NEGATIVLAND No Business (Seeland) cd 26.00
First new Negativland release in over two and a half years. We thought these guys had all but quit on us, when actually there's no better time than the present for a new Negativland release; what with file sharing and intellectual property issues being such a continuing hot topic. So it should come as no surprise that "No Business" is focused around such issues as public domain, fair use and out dated modes of conducting business in the music industry. "Bunch of smartasses..." one might ponder, "why don't I just download their album for free?" Well you could, and I don't think the Negativland boys would begrudge you for doing so. But then you wouldn't get the oversized folder with the 50 page essay "Two Relationships To a Cultural Public Domain" (well you could probably find a PDF of that somewhere). But there's no way in the world you're going to be able to download the genuine whoopee cushion imprinted with a giant copyright logo on its top. The disc, in stark contrast to the more song oriented Dispepsi and Free releases (Mark) is a pure cut up job (Don) which boasts on the cd booklet that "no elements original to Negativland were used to make these recordings." On some such tracks, like the re-edit of Julie Andrews singing "My Favorite Things", this old methodology works great. In fact, everyone here seemed to laugh their asses off at that one. Unfortunately some of the other tracks, like "Keep Rollin'" (from a trailblazer commercial) and "Piece of Pie" (from a 1940's radio drama) go on a bit too long. I think the move from analog tape, where every edit was carefully thought out and executed to ProTools has allowed the boys much more leeway to play fast and loose with their compositions. In the grand scheme of things, those old Negativland records (Big 10-8 Place, Helter Stupid) were a-joke-a-second mind bogglers of edits. On No Business in contrast, you're bombarded with the same joke over and over for 5 minutes. What this release lacks in compositional density it makes up for in the aformentioned ancillary contents. The essay is a good read and the whoopee cushion is a good sit (it really does let out a real "Bronx Cheer"). If that ain't enough there's a video -- featuring animation cells lifted from Disney's Little Mermaid -- of "Gimme the Mermaid" (from the cd that was included with the Fair Use book) that's not only hilarious, but screams lawsuit.
MPEG Stream: "Downloading"
MPEG Stream: "Favorite Things"
MPEG Stream: "Piece of Pie"

NEGATIVLAND Starting Line, the (Seeland) cd 14.98
THIS IS CURRENTLY OUT OF PRINT OR OTHERWISE UNAVAILABLE TO US AT THE MOMENT, SO PLEASE DO NOT ORDER IT. SORRY.
Volume 1 1/2 of Seeland's Over The Edge series (so named for the weekly radio show produced by Negativland on KPFA) originally recorded in 1985. On this (single) disc Richard Lyons, aka Dick Goodbody, hosts an auto trivia show with both complete sincerity and expert detail. It's probably the most amazing piece of radio theater since the zenith of the Firesign Theater's semi-improvised comedy antics during the seventies. You'll hear callers attempt to stump Dick with questions about their classic cars. You'll hear the Weatherman go head to head with Contra Costa County's top radio trivia whiz Daryl Garrison where callers abuse them with their trivia questions and much more. Though the idea of an "auto-trivia" show may seem pedestrian to some it is perhaps in spite of this that somehow the show works and is quite funny. It's like tuning into an AM radio show in the middle of the night after taking several tabs of acid. The performance is dry, so dry in fact that several participating callers don't appear to realize that the show is a joke. As a bonus to this CD edition you get a "Dick's Auto Hive" key chain, and a fold out full page advertisement for the Auto Hive from a faked Contra Costa Times page circa 1985. Also included on this disc is the "Rototiller Singalong"; thirty five minutes of madness, the highlight of which is a five minute segment at the end where David, the Weatherman, presents a stereo recording he made of his neighbor rototilling his backyard!
RealAudio clip: "Auto Trivia: Cool Cars, Cheaper Cheese, Limousines of Pope John Paul VII, etc."
RealAudio clip: "Pure Full Stereo Rototiller and So Long"

NEGATIVLAND These Guys Are From England (And Who Gives A Shit) (Seelard) cd 10.98
Way back in the 20th century, 1991 to be precise, media pranksters Negativland got themselves into a legal tussle with Island Records when they naively released a single on SST that covered U2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" and revealed Casey Kasem to be a foulmouthed ogre, all on the same track! Both SST and Negativland were subsequently sued into submission. Copies of the original U2 cd can still be had for anywhere from $75 to $100 US for the disc and bootlegged copies have been floating around ever since the track was pulled. Rather than go further into that whole can of carnuba wax I'll just refer those who are unfamiliar with this mother of all fair use lawsuits to Negativland's thorough and entertaining book "Fair Use: The Story Of The Letter U And The Numeral 2", a 288 page document of the entire court case and Negativland's subsequent legal troubles with Greg Ginn and SST. Well now, here we are in a new millennium, on the ten year anniversary of the lawsuit where Seeland has already tested the legal waters with their re-issue of John Oswald's magnum opus "Plunderphonics" and so far the sharks aren't biting. Sensing that maybe the industry's lawyers have lost their taste for such passe copyright issues in favor of the much tastier Napster and the whole peer-to-peer fiasco, the label "Seelard" (hmmm...) has stepped in to see the return of this classic piece of copyright infringement. As a bonus to this risque reissue Seelard has included 9 extra tracks relating to the original single such as an excerpt from an Over The Edge (Negativland's Don Joyce's weekly radio show on KPFA) show from 1989 where the germination of the single began. One track is an edited version of the "Radio Edit" so that you *can* now safely play it on the radio -- all the nasty words have been covered up with a cornucopia of sound effects. The seven remaining tracks on this disc were taken from live performances by Negativland in 1990 (Knitting Factory, NYC) and 1993 (Great American Music Hall, SF) and cover Casey's "Long Distance Dedication" on up to material that wound up on the cd that accompanied Negativland's book (see above). There's an abundance of good material added to the fated single in these live performances including numerous tapes referring to "U2" that Don Joyce had picked up in the interim, plus some more serious audio forays detailing Francis Gary Powers' fateful flight over the USSR in a Lockheed U-2 spy plane. Diddley Shit!
MPEG Stream: "Special Edit Radio Mix - I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For"
MPEG Stream: "The Black Lady of Espionage (Live)"

NEGATIVLAND Willsaphone Stupid Show, the (Seeland) 2cd 15.98
Volume 6 in Negativland's Over The Edge series (so named for the weekly radio show produced by Negativland on KPFA). This volume is dedicated to David Wills -- aka The Weatherman -- and his obsession with field recording, most notably his fixation with recording his family. Don Joyce and David produced several shows on Over The Edge dedicated to David and his tapes and then distilled it down to these two discs. Beginning with a recording of David with his first tape recorder as a young wippersnapper and continuing with all the various tapes he made through his youth, adolescence, and on into adulthood. One of the principle subjects of David's recordings are Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners with his family. In David's house, where he lived with his parents up until they passed away, he had both his room and the kitchen wired for sound so that he could play tapes of his mom and grandmother talking while making thanksgiving dinner as they made thanksgiving dinner a year later, or two years, or five... etc. The two then remark on the previous years as David continues to record them and talk back to them. The result is a really bizarre, non-linear ongoing conversation. Interspersed throughout these two discs of David's audio history are sections where listeners to the show call up and query Mr Wills for help with their cable TV repair, radio and electronics problems, ask questions about home cleaning and participate in the "Fake Bacon & Electronic Music" hotline.
RealAudio clip: "I'm A Vegetable, Wired Up House, Steamin' Mad At Dirt, etc"
RealAudio clip: "Fuck You, Tough Darts, Jingle Bells, etc"

NEWHART, BOB Something Like This: The Anthology (Warner Archives) cd 21.00

NICHOLS, MIKE, & ELAINE MAY An Evening With... (Mercury) cd 11.98
THIS IS CURRENTLY OUT OF PRINT OR OTHERWISE UNAVAILABLE TO US AT THE MOMENT, SO PLEASE DO NOT ORDER IT. SORRY.
4 selections from their 1960 improvised performances on Broadway. The comic duo would often ask the audience for an opening line or a topic to maintain the integrity toward their improvisation. Often quite funny, often scathing, always entertaining.

NICHOLS, MIKE, & ELAINE MAY Examine Doctors (Mercury) cd 11.98
THIS IS CURRENTLY OUT OF PRINT OR OTHERWISE UNAVAILABLE TO US AT THE MOMENT, SO PLEASE DO NOT ORDER IT. SORRY.
Examine Doctors is an outgrowth of their weekly comic appearances on the NBC radio's Monitor show in 1962. This is an unedited tape of a Monitor work session, with all of the ideas and situations occuring spontaneously and the dialogue entirely improvised. The NBC producer at that time suggested that the pair do a spot on doctors, to which Mike responded "you can't do anything funny about doctors." Black humor and ironic situations that have an engaging intelligence not at all dissimilar to Woody Allen.

NICHOLS, MIKE, & ELAINE MAY Improvisations to Music (Mercury) cd 11.98
THIS IS CURRENTLY OUT OF PRINT OR OTHERWISE UNAVAILABLE TO US AT THE MOMENT, SO PLEASE DO NOT ORDER IT. SORRY.
A third reissue of Mike & Elaine's improvisational skills finds them in cahoots with pianist Marty Rubenstein, who created a variety of music to suggest different moods. Mike & Elaine would spontaneously create scenes to fit each musical interlude. No scripts... no rehearsals...

NORDINE, KEN A Transparent Mask (Asphodel) cd 16.98

NORDINE, KEN Colors (Asphodel) cd 13.98
THIS IS CURRENTLY OUT OF PRINT OR OTHERWISE UNAVAILABLE TO US AT THE MOMENT, SO PLEASE DO NOT ORDER IT. SORRY.
Word-jazz classic from a voice you've heard on the Incredibly Strange Music compilations and countless TV commercials. Every piece is about a color, from olive to ecru, plus 10 never "heard" (seen?) on the original, including fuchsia, cerise, nutria.

OCS VS. CAROLINER At Aquarius Records, S.F. (Narnack) lp 12.98
THIS IS CURRENTLY OUT OF PRINT OR OTHERWISE UNAVAILABLE TO US AT THE MOMENT, MAINLY BECAUSE IT WAS AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE! HEE HEE! SO PLEASE DO NOT ORDER IT. SORRY.
Handsomely packaged in a hand linocut printed jockstrap cover, OCS vs Caroliner is probably not what you would imagine. This isn't a remix collaboration between John Dwyer and Grux, but a fight (recorded surreptitiously by another Aquarius customer on their minidisc recorder) between the two battling over flyer space on the event board.
MPEG Stream: "Cardboard Pants"
MPEG Stream: "Giant Pocket"
MPEG Stream: "Highwater Pageboy"

ORCHESTRA PETER THOMAS Orion 2000 (Roundtable / The Omni Recording Corporation) lp 27.00
Now on vinyl, following Omni's cd version highlighted here a few months back!
Groovy, baby! Are you a filmmaker making a movie about sex kittens on the moon? A crime drama with rocket ships and ray guns? A documentary about swinging space aliens building the pyramids? Or just daydreaming about such subjects? Well, have we (and Omni) got the totally fab, pre-fab soundtrack for you!! Swank futuric funky jazz loungey freakbeat electronic grooves perfect for any kitschy exploito-flick you could imagine, pounded out by a band led by composer Peter Thomas, whom perhaps you know already as the man responsible for scoring Raumpatrouille (Space Patrol), a classic German '60s sci-fi TV show. His "in-kraut" stylings on many, many other soundtracks have earned him a cult following.
This exuberant album consists of prime Peter Thomas stuff, material recorded in 1970, released as an obscure library music lp in 1975, and out of circulation until now! Remastered, from the original master tapes (but without the 4 bonus tracks of the cd version), this features 12 tracks in total, most about 2-3 minutes in length, each categorized variously as either "Beat", "Electric Beat", "Strong Beat", "Rock Beat", or "Fast Beat", for what it's worth. They've ALL got bombastic beats, along with brassy horns, sizzling synths, fluttering flutes, and occasional wordless vocals... Any TV commercial or film project that was wild enough to made use of this library music would sound pretty hip, considering that the players in the Orchestra Peter Thomas included close associates and/or members of krautrockers Amon Duul II and Brainticket... Oh, and on lead guitar, Vampyros Lesbos co-composer Siggi Schwab!
Definitely another awesome Omni find. Packaged with informative liner notes, where you can read about PT's one of a kind "Tho-Wi-Phon" synthesizer, among other interesting things.
MPEG Stream: "Mars Close Up"
MPEG Stream: "Power Boost"
MPEG Stream: "Flash Point"
MPEG Stream: "Rockin' Computer"

OSWALT, PATTON 222 Live & Uncut (Chunklet) 2cd 15.98
Third (and final?) re-pressing of this unanimous AQ comedy favorite!!
222... Two mints in one? Nope. Codeine? Nope. Nope. Nope. This double disc is BETTER -- packed with two and a half hours of comedian Patton Oswalt recorded live at the 40 Watt Club in Athens, GA. What more could you possibly want or need in your life? The man is fuckin' hiiiiilllaaarrriiiioouuss! Aaah, you might know him from the TV show King Of Queens, or you might've spotted him in the movie Taxi (or the soon to be released Blade 3... what the f'?!), or you might've heard his voice on Crank Yankers, or you might know him from one of his stand-up performances (he just finished a brief tour with Maria Bamford and Mr. Show alumni Brian Posehn). Now we know this isn't a competition, but dare we say, he frequently kicks his pal David Cross' ass? Yes, as a matter of fact we do dare. Much like Cross, he draws much inspiration from the late great Bill Hicks who pushed the renegade stand-up envelope hard and far in a very short period of time (if you dig current comedians such as Oswalt, Cross and Dave Attell, do yourself a favor and seek out any/all videos and cds of Hicks... seriously!). Fueled by a steady fountain of red wine, Oswalt holds court unleashing his often jaw-dropping, astute observations about the telling signs of the apocalypse and other stuff -- more specifically Dubya, zombies, celebrities, midgets, liquor ads, babies, hair metal videos, open mic nites, hippies, comic books and steakhouses. We won't attempt to re-enact any of his jokes here. There's no way we could accurately replicate his comedic 'nuances'. Hell, what are you waiting for? Just give those audioclips a spin. As he gets more inebriated instead of getting sloppier in his delivery, he somehow gets even more blistering. It's not until the last twenty minutes that things start to get noticeably, uhh, affected by the copious amount of vino consumed. He goes off on a bizarre rant beginning with a comment about shaving a back with a rusty tuna fish can. Hoo boy. If laughing appeals to you, buy this immediately. You won't know what hit you. Squibilleee flabilleee dooo!!! Brought to you by the kind folks at Chunklet Magazine / Records.
Warning #1: This is definitely not for the dainty eared nor for the faint of heart nor for the humorless.
Warning #2: Remember folks, this is a completely unedited recording, so the laffs aren't as rapid fire as on other comedy albums that have been nipped and tucked for maximum hilarity. This is two and a half hours of real-time stand-up with many drinking pauses, muffled banter with the audience and even a break when Oswalt takes a photo of his photographer who himself is drunk too.
And most importantly, Warning #3: This is a very very very limited tour only release that we've been fortunate enough to snag a few copies of, so please don't dilly-dally.
MPEG Stream: "excerpt 1 [we won]"
MPEG Stream: "excerpt 2 [dubya]"
MPEG Stream: "excerpt 3 [pride]"
MPEG Stream: "excerpt 4 [chipmunks]"

OSWALT, PATTON My Weakness Is Strong (Warner Bros. / Degenerate) cd+dvd 14.98
Yippeee! We're always geeked to hear there's new stuff from Patton Oswalt! Our abs never look better than after a vigorous session of laughing our guts out! Maybe he should consider targeting the fitness market. When his voice crests into the upper register we can easily imagine him as the next Richard Simmons (yup, our imagination is very vivid!). Heck, he's already become quite a guru to many (albeit very non-fitness). Anyhoo, on My Weakness Is Strong, he had many of us in stitches from the get go with his trademark exuberance. However, rather than this feeling like a totally fresh batch of tales and observations, it's more like hanging out with an old college buddy shootin' the shit. Y'know, like the friend who retells old stories that he doesn't remember he's already told you, but in Oswalt's case in the interim he's rewritten those yarns with different characters and slightly different scenarios. As with your dear chum, you don't complain, but chuckle along because it IS funny. Certainly helps that he delivers the goods with the same killer pacing and dynamics he always has - obviously a vital key to drawing the laughs - although it does come across as more rehearsed and not as spontaneous at times. It's also pretty evident that his other more recent career has been in movie voice work. His range of characters is a lot more varied this time around. That's totally cool except that it means we get a bit less of the geeky comic book man-boy persona we know and love so dearly. The different voices he assumes come across more like those of random strangers than of Oswalt's well-weathered inner voices on his older material. A bit less interesting, a bit less holy shit!
Yeah, you're probably thinking "Aaaah, they're just spouting old school sour grapes (a la "his earlier stuff was waaay better, man!")", and to a certain extent, yes, we are. Some of the best fodder for comedy writing is drawn from personal experiences and insights - the bizarre, the astute, the biting, the snide, the absurd. Oswalt's older bits were rife with all of those. If this album is any indication, his recent activities have been rife with mostly domestic bliss. Topics this time lean more heavily on the commonplace grown-up mundane rather than pop culture, comic books, video games, and sci-fi flicks. In other words, you get tales of house hunting instead of hottub ball shaving. Shit, he said it himself on his last album Werewolves And Lollipops... The #1 killer of comedy material is personal contentment and comfort! Literally, no joke. He's now happily married with a baby on board. He's got a kickass hot poop career, and one of his prime sources for supervillain material is now out of office. And really, let's face it, he was on a successful major network TV show for years, and though he still looks and plays the part well, his genuine underdog days are far behind him. Good for Patton, bad for our abs. We're a bit bummed by the shift in focus, but we shouldn't really be all that surprised. He's clearly a savvy, smart guy doin' well in the big leagues, and he is still a very very funny man, but he's appealing to a far broader audience. Watching the dvd, you quickly get an impression of the size of place he's packing these days. It's a very large theater and it is a significant factor in the Oswalt experience. The immediate impact of his past stand-up performances in intimate smaller venues was unquestionable. Totally like seeing that awesome new band absolutely slay in someone's basement or dive bar. It's a fleeting joy, but of course you've gotta move on. Nevertheless you'll always have that cherished memory (and 222 cd!).
So yeah... recommended of course... but only after you've been lubed up by any/all of his previous recordings! Psst, this does get bonus points for the Chick Tract inspired Ivan Brunetti cover art!

OSWALT, PATTON Pennsylvania Macaroni Company (Chunklet) cd 13.98
THIS IS CURRENTLY OUT OF PRINT OR OTHERWISE UNAVAILABLE TO US AT THE MOMENT, SO PLEASE DO NOT ORDER IT. SORRY.
One out of three ain't bad, especially if the one is so awesome that it obliterates the other two... more on that in a bit...
Being such big appreciationists of both Patton Oswalt and Chunklet Magazine, we really really really wanted to love his latest limited edition tour series cdep, but... we almost found ourselves filing it under: Guess you had to be there! Erm, the first two tracks on Pennsylvania Macaroni Company prove that comedians aren't always funny. This is a live recording of on stage banter between Oswalt, Eugene Mirman, Brian Posehn and Maria Bamford. Now, to our ears Mirman is seldomly funny at all, and the latter two definitely have their good'n'bad days or on'n'off nights, but we'd expect more from Mr. Oswalt. It's like some supervillain swooped in and zapped their powers of hilarity. Often it seems like the audience must be laughing because "those are comedians on stage and I am supposed to laugh"... or maybe it's because they're just as boozed as the folks are on stage.
Now you might've noticed that we only specified the first two tracks as being unfunny. That's because the third track, the song based Pennsylvania Macaroni Company portion of the show, is PRETTY GODDAMN FUNNY. Not surprisingly it's 'cause the spotlight is fully on Oswalt, and he is on fire. Wish he just kept on goin'! It's the reason you need this cd! We'd like to add though that for a serious half-nelson on both your cranium and your funny bone, check out Oswalt's no less inebriated gutbuster 222 Live & Uncut instead. He's so super powered on that one he's pretty much wearing a cape. We'll go ahead and blame the brief spell of unfunniness on Mirman....
MPEG Stream: "Two Miniature Joe Pescis"
MPEG Stream: "Brian Versus Eugene And Maria"
MPEG Stream: "Pennsylvania Macaroni Company"

OSWALT, PATTON Werewolves And Lollipops (Sub Pop) cd+dvd 14.98
Try some Werewolves And Lollipops on your funny bone! If you share our sense of blackened humor, we're sure you'll find Patton Oswalt's second album to be a perfect fit... especially because this cd of his live stand-up in Austin, TX in December 2006 comes with a dvd of his live stand up in Athens, GA two months earlier (and doin' some other stuff too)! In our opinion his Athens show is not as 'on' as the one in Austin, but nevertheless his Jonathan-Winters-in-miniature, stubbled, disgruntled grimace is just as entertaining to see as it is to hear. While he certainly shares with his buddy David Cross the deep influence of the Bill Hicks and George Carlin school of scathing yet insightful social political humor, he also shares with another fellow stand-up Dave Attell a penchant for liquor'd up, absurdist, saucy bon mots. He deftly juggles all of that while infusing the proceedings with his own ever present pottymouth, comic book geekiness and self deprecation.
This show took place at the Cap City Comedy Club in December 2006, and the only segments here that we recognize from a previous recording are the reworked versions of his Racist Cell Phones and Best Baby In The Universe bits (not that we're complaining... the latter is one of his best). You might recall that the original appeared on his unedited 222 Live & Uncut double cd that was released a few years back by the Chunklet Magazine folks (it didn't appear on the edited version of that show which was titled Feelin' Kinda Patton though). That means for those of you who haven't seen him perform live in the last couple years, you get 21 tracks of previously unheard hilarity. Awesome! Keep your ears peeled for his mention of Brian Dennehy and his explanation of the birds and the bees. Holy shit, it'll have you in wicked stitches. Need we say? Recommended!
MPEG Stream: "Beautiful People And A Bridge Troll"
MPEG Stream: "The Best Baby In The Universe"

PALAST, GREG Weapons Of Mass Instruction Live (Alternative Tentacles) cd 14.98

PHOSPHENE RIVER s/t (self-released) cd 10.98
When Brooklyn's White Hills was here last week (they played a rad instore, hope you made it), they brought us some copies of this new compilation on which they appear, alongside the likes of Mammatus, The Heads, Kawabata Makoto, Residual Echoes, Plastic Crimewave Sound, Fuzzhead, and a couple others (many of whom are depicted in the cover drawing montage, done by Plastic Crimewave, whose art you may know from his Galactic Zoo Dossier 'zine). Heavy duty, fuzzed out, psychedelic stoner rock nirvana here, folks! But it's NOT exactly a comp, actually. It's the follow-up to an out of print disc called Jamnation that we reviewed (thumbs up) a few years back. And that's the catch, kinda. Both Jamnation and now Phosphene River aren't just various artists collections, they're spoken word projects from the fevered mind of one Dan McGuire, who lays down his gritty beatnik poetry overtop the instrumental spacey effects laden bliss and/or throbbing distorted guitar riffage being pumped out by these bands. We've said it before, we'll say it again, we're not so big on the spoken word thing. You'll never catch us at a poetry slam. BUT, we gotta say, first off McGuire's rambling Lizard King orations, we can deal with, usually. His subject matter is surreal and sinister enough to somewhat make up for the sheer self parodic silliness of the whole spoken word thing. And, his words don't really get in the way of the music, which is really why we're listening. He slips right in there like he belongs, instead of being a total distraction. He's got a cool, gritty voice (we compared him to turned on, dropped out John Wayne / Henry Rollins hybrid before) and sorta sounds like the hardboiled detective doing the voiceover in some '50s noir movie, except with the drug fueled, fear & loathing laden, imagination of a Hunter S. Thompson. Even when he's getting Biblical, as he does on the PCS track "Are You A Dragon". His streams of consciousness can be sort of hypnotic - we'll admit to listening less to what he's saying and more to the heavy sound of the whole thing. And as we said when we reviewed Jamnation, McGuire has a knack for knowing when to back off and leave space for the music. He'll let a track play halfway through sometimes before opening his mouth - and the tracks he's selected for this disc are of course good 'uns, as you might have already guessed from the quality lineup who contributed. It's pretty well done for what it is!
So, if you like stoner psych -and- spoken word, this is for you for sure. If just stoner psych, well we'd say that this comp is rad enough to withstand the inclusion of all that jawing. And think about it, McGuire's purple flow of deviant verbiage is really not that different from what these band's guitarists are doing with their axes, wailing away, off on their own freaky trips...
MPEG Stream: FUZZHEAD "Her Kind"
MPEG Stream: WHITE HILLS "Potter's Field"
MPEG Stream: MAMMATUS "Sire"

POLLACK, NEAL AND THE PINE VALLEY COSMONAUTS Anthology of American Literature (Bloodshot) cd 14.98
You might already be familiar with the PVCs from their own albums or their recordings with fellow Bloodshot-er Kelly Hogan. They are, by the way, an alt-country supergroup whose membership includes the Waco Bros' Jon Langford and Steve Goulding, Tom Ray of the Bottle Rockets, and this time around Sally Timms and the aforementioned Hogan. Here for some reason, they've hooked up with writer Neal Pollack for his parody of Harry Smith's highly regarded Anthology Of American Folk Music. That's right it's a parody. We found his voice to be not unlike that of Ira Glass of This American Life or John S. Hall of King Missile - the kind of voice you wanna slap. Annoying!

POLLOCK, JACKSON, & LEE KRASNER Two Dialogues (Soo) cd 15.98
THIS IS CURRENTLY OUT OF PRINT OR OTHERWISE UNAVAILABLE TO US AT THE MOMENT, SO PLEASE DO NOT ORDER IT. SORRY.
Pollock and Krasner were a couple, they lived in a house on Long Island and made paintings we hang in museums. This is a recording of them talking with William Wright (1950) and Marc Miller (1982), respectively. And you know it's got a nice cover.

POSEHN, BRIAN Live In: Nerd Rage (Relapse) cd 12.98
First comedy record from our favorite Mr. Show Sideman and self professed metal nerd Brian Posehn. Embarassing tales of sex (or lack of), life as a teenage metalhead as well as lots of swearing and silliness. PLUS, two songs featuring Posehn on vocals, one with Titannica from Mr. Show, the other, with the obviously named Posehn, both featuring members of Anthrax, Armored Saint and White Zombie.

PRICE, VINCENT Master Of The Macabre (El / Cherry Red) cd 16.98
Who has a more perfectly sinister and lascivious voice than the late great Vincent Price? Full of creepy intent and snide charm, it's no surprise that apart from a celebrated career in cinema that he would also thrive in the medium of radio, especially in the then burgeoning genres of suspense, mystery and, of course, horror! Three radio plays are included here, Edgar Allen Poe's "The Pit and The Pendulum", "Fugue In C Minor" and "Present Tense" with a full cast of characters and beautifully ominous musical accompaniment. Fully demonstrating Price's masterful craft of portraying both the tormentor and the tormented as they battle demons both supernatural and internal. Wonderfully creepy stuff!
MPEG Stream: "The Pit and The Pendulum"
MPEG Stream: "Fugue In C Minor"

PRYOR, RICHARD Evolution Revolution: The Early Years (Rhino) 2cd 18.98
Do we have to tell you that Richard Pryor is one of the greatest comedians alive? Taking inspiration from Bill Cosby, mentoring from Woody Allen, etc. Pryor quickly became one of the single most strikingly inspirational comedians of all time. This retrospective gives us two discs of mostly never-before-released stuff that nicely documents his early performances (1966-1974).
Disc one features amazing reel-to-reel sound recordings which render for us his earliest explorations in comedy (thus the "Evolution"). For the most part, they're pg-13-ish storytelling explorations that catch him building the structures of his own comedic form.
Disc two gives us performances that feature the more famously known Pryor style: hyperkinetic, free-form, millions upon millions upon millions of expletives, the sort of delivery Pryor's probably best known for. He talks about real-life situations with which we can all identify. You know, cocaine addiction, tumultuous marriages, killing ones car, heart attacks, setting oneself on fire... This disc also features one of the best parts of Wattstax, his 7 bit monologue! The performances here pre-date his decision to remove the word "nigger" from his monologues (a decision made following a 1979 trip to Kenya).
Now, where, motherfucker, would we be without God damn Richard Pryor? Dare I say, there would be no Eddie Murphy!? No Blazing Saddles (which he co-wrote with Mel Brooks)!! No Sanford and Son!!! And on and on... Overall, this is a great compilation of his early work. And "[He] Ain't Dead Yet Motherfucker!"
MPEG Stream: "Peoria"
MPEG Stream: "Wattstax Monologue"

PRYOR, RICHARD The Anthology 1968-1992 (Rhino) 2cd 19.98
When the Richard Pryor box set came out over a year ago I was so excited, I wanted to buy it for everyone I knew. But alas I was broke and didn't even get to hear it myself. Now a second, more affordable chance has presented itself in this two cd anthology. And instead of me buying it for all of you, I'll just try to convince -you- to buy it yourself.
Richard Pryor is so fucking funny, and smart . His comedy style is flowing and personal, about life and politics. He was one of the first high profile comedians to reclaim the word nigger, defiantly and as a political statement. (He later publicly decided to not use the word.) He talks dirty and crass, offending people left and right, does painfully hilarious impressions of fuck ups and drunks. Oh, and the best thing is when he makes fun of lame ass white folks! Funny and essential.
RealAudio clip: "Exorcist"
RealAudio clip: "Have Your Ass Home by 11:00"

PUNY HUMANS No One Will Ever Understand Our Genious (self-released) cd 9.98
Longtime readers of the aQ list are probably well acquainted with Steven Schultz, a mad musical genius who over the years has released some of the most wacked, distrubed, and bafflingly genius records we've come across. But Steven moved to Japan, got married, and had a kid, so minus the occasional visit for some catching up and an SF burrito, he, and his music, have been basically awol. Well, during the last visit, we managed to get a handful of each of his releases, which we'll be doling out, one at a time, so new customers, and recent aQ converts, can experience the dizzyingly damaged musical world of Mr. Steven Schultz. Let's start with Puny Humans shall we...
What kind of an album would feature on its back cover a still from "The Big Lebowski" with Jeff Bridges, Steve Buscemi, and John Goodman sitting at a bar in a bowling alley -- all wearing black metal corpse paint??!? And feature music that kinda actually *sounds* like that picture might sound?? One by the notorious Steven Schultz (of The History Of Vats, Stalin Claus Superstar!, Busuchan, and I Forgot To Get A Rap Name! infamy) and fellow musical mastermind/masturbator Jason Kocol, of course! "No One Will Ever Understand Our Genious" is a more than apt album title for this duo's output. Genious [sic] put to questionable use. Embarrassing but stoopid funny music nerd indulgence, with the boys' sick chops in metal, jazz, dance music and whatever else they choose to abuse making the likes of Mr. Bungle and Estradasphere and Frank Zappa seem like mere puppies next to these Puny Humans. A silly genre-shift every 1.5 seconds or so, with blasting metal giving way to kazoo blues interrupted by circus music then back to the metal but with tinkling bells and sampled interjections from Flava Flav and house beats and skits and the quiet storm etc. etc. etc. Good grief! The mind reels, the throat chortles. This is really over the top. There's skits (y'know, the producers talking like on a rap record) and they even stoop so low as to sample the Benny Hill Theme at one point. Yes, the dumb humor driving this is SO dumb and relentless that it might even be brilliant. I mean, can you argue with songs that actually live up to song titles like "Deicide At Their Mom's House", "Sweep-Picking The Flugelhorns", and "Wouldja Look At The Ass On That Mummy?". Nope, or at least you wouldn't want to waste your time. Of course, without the dumb humor this mighta been the best ridiculous meta-metal ever, like if they were Japanese or something and we didn't "get" the jokes. But with the humor, it still shows Mr. Bungle where to get off. We really can't help but like it despite ourselves. Trying too hard to be insane -- and succeeding!!
MPEG Stream: "Thorax, Ho!"
MPEG Stream: "Hey, There's Always Urine!"

RAYMOND & PETER Shut Up, Little Man! (Shut Up Little Man Recordings) cd 13.98
Finally available again, after several years! The disc that both saddens and entertains, kind of like a cross between Charles Bukowski and the Jerky Boys!
If you've seen the Simpsons episode with John Waters, you might recall Homer asking the guest star what camp means. Waters' answer: "The comically tragic...the tragically comic." To which Homer retorts "Oh, you mean, like when a clown dies." This classic recording of San Franciscan drunks Raymond Huffmann & Peter Haskett certainly fits this Homeric definition of camp. These two aging roommates spent their days drinking heavily in their Lower Haight apartment and verbally assaulted each other. The slurring barrage of obscenities muddles the difference between the two men. This is one of those documents that had to be (re)released, capturing the torment these two unwittingly inflicted upon their enraged neighbors who in turn recorded their every conversation. Worthy of its status as a late-twentieth century underground "comedy" phenomenon.
MPEG Stream: "Introducing Ray: I Am Ready Now!"
MPEG Stream: "I Despise All Queers"
MPEG Stream: "I Was A Mean Motherfucker In My Time"
MPEG Stream: "Nova Express Times Survey On Alcohol"
MPEG Stream: "Ray Mewls At The Cops"

REED, LOU & METALLICA Lulu (Warner Bros.) 2cd 18.98
We know you've all be waiting for us to weigh in on one of the burning issues of our time: just how terrible IS the Lou Reed / Metallica album? Is it terrible terrible, or maybe so bad it's good (but still terrible)? Or, perhaps, like The Wire, would we be all contrary and proclaim it to actually be brilliant, not terrible? Well... let's just say that actually writing a review of Lulu is difficult 'cause simply sitting through Lulu is difficult! Imagine a random rock band (Metallica) jamming on some generic stoner riffs they wrote in like 5 minutes, while Grandpa Simpson (Lou Reed) speak-sings disturbing/cryptic/asinine lyrics from the POV of an underage girl prostitute and whatnot over the top... and it's TWO freaking discs long!
Well, even opinion here at AQ is divided... just like when Morbid Angel's Illud Divinum Insanus came out. We DO like stuff that's "fucked up" after all, and certainly this is. And there's ways in which the "transgressiveness" of this might appeal to Oxbow fans, for sure (and we're Oxbow fans). But if you're a Metallica fan... well you're a glutton for punishment already anyway at this point, and this IS better than St. Anger (what isn't)? Is it possible that Lulu is Lou Reed's laughing-all-the-way-to-the-bank joke on a clueless, desperate-to-be-artistic Metallica?
Maybe we should just cop out and say that Lulu stands outside of any conventional good/bad judgment. It's just...ludicrous. And not 'cause it's Lou Reed and Metallica, as a concept, per se. Actually, when we first heard about Lou Reed teaming up with Metallica, some of us thought it had potential. On paper. After all, Lou Reed had written songs for KISS before (on 1981's Music From The Elder) and look how that turned out. No, seriously, we dig that KISS album. And if Lou was good enough to write songs for KISS, he should be good enough to write songs for Metallica, heck they should have brought him in sooner. Or, another possibility, was that they would do a full-on noise album together, conducted by Reed: Metallica Machine Music, perhaps?! That could have been cool. Instead, we got this arty absurdity. Which, to be fair, does have its (unintentionally HILARIOUS) moments. For instance, "I Am The Table" (not the name of the song, but it should be, it's actually called "The View", after the TV talk show) is almost worth the price of admission, it's already a classic. Or, check out the very next song, "Pumping Blood", sample lyric from Reed: "Waggle my ass like a dark prostitute coagulating heart pumpin' blood... c'mon, James!"
Yes, he really says/sings that. Wow.
And if Reed's half-assed spoken word style, way-too-high-in-the-mix vox weren't ruinous enough, James Hetfield then sings backup throughout, in his usual heartfelt, gruff, rock dude croon. Singing stuff like the aforementioned, "I am the table!". The juxtaposition is, again, just so ridiculous. As is the entire album. We're not sure what's worse, when they try to do "songs" (like "Iced Honey") or when it's just Lars on the drums providing random backup for Reed's beat poetry.
Ok, it's not all laffs. Ferinstance, in the finale of the set, the whole second half of the epic 20 minute "Junior Dad" is just droning somber strings, and that's quite pretty, although that part doesn't appear to involve either the members of Metallica OR Lou Reed...
So, our "verdict": you should definitely hear this, a least a bit of it, for a laugh. But buy the thing? Well, we've got one copy, and expect to have it for a while. But please go ahead, buy it. We dare you. And when you're listening to it, try not to imagine this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRPzElP_eSI
MPEG Stream: "Brandenberg Gate"
MPEG Stream: "The View"
MPEG Stream: "Cheat On Me"

REGGIE AND THE FULL EFFECT Greatest Hits '84-'87 (Vagrant) cd 14.98

REGGIE AND THE FULL EFFECT Songs Not To Get Married To (Vagrant) cd 14.98
Every time we start a review with a phrase like "we don't really like techno all that much" or "we've never been huge fans of pop punk" we end up getting people writing in defending the genre in question. But truth be told, we -do- like techno and we -do- like pop punk, and we do like all kinds of music, it's sort of the point of this store. It's just that we generally tend to dig the weirder, more far out, more creative risk-taking fringes of all those genres, which is -also- the point of this store. But that said, we don't actually like pop punk all that much, at least not the strain of cookie cutter made-for-MTV dreck that one typically thinks of as pop punk. But we do love pop. Do we ever!!! And we do love punk! And unlike the bad math that results from adding metal and hip hop (oh how we desperately wish someone could make that work!), pop and punk fit pretty comfortably together, add some good songs, and maybe even some metal riffage, and we're in business. Thus we have Reggie And The Full Effect, originally a joke side project for a handful of emo / pop punk luminaries (Coalesce anyone?), now a band that's as good as if not better than all of the serious bands that spawned it. They are the ultimate emo band. Of course you have the huge kick ass production, great catchy songs, sensitive whiny boy vocals and big distorted guitars. BUT THEN, you've got some chugging metal guitars and howling throat shredding vocals, fuzzy synths, goofy lyrics, and an ultra dumb / totally brilliant sense of humour. And as if that weren't enough, every third or fourth song is a total eighties synthpop workout, straight up New Order mockery / worship (one of which is a dead ringer for track two on the recent Killers record! Now who's laughing?!). Goofy and silly, but actually really good and fun and catchy. And finally, you've got RATFE's hardcore alter ego, the fictitious Finnish electro punk outfit Common Denominator, who have contributed one track to each Reggie record, always with Common Denominator's lead vocalist introducing the band, in a thick inexplicably German accent: "HELLO AMERICANS, THIS IS KLAUS FROM COMMON DENOMINATOR. WE ARE THE BAND YOU THAT YOU ARE LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW WE ARE FROM FINLAND AND THIS IS THE THIRD SONG OFF OUR DEBUT ALBUM IN AMERICA, THIS SONG IS CALLED DEATHNOTRONIC AND IT GOES LIKE THIS!!! And what follow is what can only be described as Ministry meets Rammstein meets that song that ALWAYS seems to play during cheerleader competitions (Y'all Ready For This!) as well as some awesome noodly guitar leads.
Even with the presence of Common Denominator, and the occasional synthpop workout, this is Reggie's least 'jokey' record to date, which is probably what makes it their best. Even the lyrics aren't as straight up goofy, in fact if anything, unless this is all a REALLY subtle joke, the lyrics tend toward straight up emo territory, love and loss and boys and girls and all that stuff. Pretty heartfelt stuff actually, and if there's one thing we're a sucker for it's emo! In fact the final song, a brooding piano driven emo ballad to end all emo ballads, is SO sincere, it seems like it MUST be a joke coming from these guys. But it's not. At least we don't think so. At first we were a little disappointed by the lack of skits and random stupidity, but as much as we love those old Reggie records, this one definitely has the potential for most repeated listens. There's just something about Reggie's combination of crunchy metallic guitars, weird Cars / Tupac synth melodies, perfect pop and goofy eighties high school ballads that we can't seem to get enough of!
MPEG Stream: "What The Hell Is Contempt"
MPEG Stream: "Get Well Soon"
MPEG Stream: "Deathnotronic (Common Denominator)"

RICHARD HELL Go Now (Codex) cd 9.98
NYC punk icon Hell reads the first two chapters of his novel Go Now, backed by Robert Quine's guitar.

RICKLES, DON Speaks! (JMG Traditions) cd 14.98
Released for the first time on cd, this is Don Rickles' 1969 comedy album Speaks! as reissued by the Jewish Music Group under license from Warner Bros. Unavailable for years and years, it features the infamous comedian fielding queries, press-conference-style, on a broad array of disparate topics -- sports, TV, current affairs and Frank Sinatra! Even by today's standards, his sardonic, biting vitriol comes across as nothing short of shocking. He'd have folks shaking in their boots any time he took the podium at celebrity roasts, for sure. Indeed an incredible quick wit was the fount of his trademark acid tongued barbs, but his astute insights were also frequently overshadowed by the controversy of his slurs. He could be very VERY politically incorrect. Like for instance, on this record, borderline racist humor about his pal Sammy Davis Jr... or borderline bestiality jokes about Sinatra! (The "Rat Pack" sure takes some lumps here.) That said, social/political issues, merciless insults and self deprecation were delivered in equal doses. Howard Stern has nothing on him. Nor does your mean, drunken grandpa.
For those of us who weren't even born when this album was originally released, some of the many political pop culture references made by Rickles are gonna be puzzling to say the least. It's almost a surreal stream of consciousness thing full of now-so-dated-they're-cryptic allusions. But that actually makes this all the more fascinating, even when it's not funny, which it often isn't, except in a sorta painful way. And even the people and events the mentions that we are familiar with, it's pretty weird to listen to jokes about -- including Spiro Agnew, the Arab-Israeli War, Robert Goulet, Ho Chi Minh, and the Electric Prunes! A curious artifact for sure.
MPEG Stream: "Current Events"
MPEG Stream: "Some Good Friends"

ROBINSON, EUGENE Fight (Hydra Head) 2cd 13.98
We figured since we were listing a new super limited live recording of Oxbow, one that resulted in Eugene unconscious onstage afterwards, that we oughta relist his book-on-tape (well, cd, but tape sounds better) where Eugene reads from his book, all about kicking ass and getting your ass kicked...
As you all should know by now, Eugene Robinson is the lead singer of Oxbow, a swamp-rock punk explosion of pure id in a musical context. Eugene's primal engery, which gets exorcised on stage most definitely and to a lesser extent on record, has also manifested itself in Robinson's parallel career as a mixed martial artist. That's right, as more than a few foolish hecklers at Oxbow shows have learned the hard way, Eugene is not a dude you want to mess with! Being both a brawler and an intellectual, Eugene has thought quite a bit about his pastime. A few years back, Eugene penned a column for the fight magazine Grappler about the art of getting his ass kicked by fighters much better than he; and he began working on a book about the oft misunderstood bloodsport-cum-artform known as mixed martial arts. The book in question is FIGHT: Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Ass-Kicking But Were Afraid You'd Get Your Ass Kicked For Asking, and it's something of a coffee table book with ample bloodsplattered photographs from the brief history of MMA as it has broached the mainstream of Western Culture (thanks to UFC in America and Pride in Japan).
This Fight 2cd finds Eugene reading various bits from that book. Eugene's words come across as a mixture of Harry Crews, Lydia Lunch and Quintin 'Rampage' Jackson, poetic in language, vitriolic with emotional drama, and arrogant with the boastfulness of first hand knowledge in ass-kicking. This spoken word set is a pretty entertaining listen, providing insight into Oxbow's music, the history of the UFC, Eugene's enthusiam for devil-in-the-ring / nice-guy-at-home fighters Kevin Randleman and Maurice Smith, and the fact or fiction world of prison fighting called "jail-house rock." Hey, did you know that Oxbow were up for a Grammy? Look it up! We love Oxbow. And we love Eugene. And for the record, he could totally kick all our asses, combined.
MPEG Stream: "Introdution Fighting: Why Not?"
MPEG Stream: "Let's Get It On"
MPEG Stream: "Jailhouse Rock & Banditry"

ROLLINS, HENRY Nights Behind The Tree Line (2.13.61) cd 11.98

SANTOMIERI, DEAN Boy Beneath the Sea (The Foundry) cd 12.98
Released on the local ambient label The Foundry, Dean Santomieri's "Boy Beneath The Sea" starts off pleasantly enough with slowly strummed Godspeed / Tarentel guitar riffs complemented by vaguely New Age-ish chimes and polished digital sheen. But Santomieri marrs the atmosphere with an extended monologue about "wonder, fear, guilt, impotence, love, anguish and freedom as uttered from the perspective of the boy in his new world as well as that of his parents and sister in their loss." Since the spoken word / ambient combination is one of my least favourite genres, I'll admit to turning this off rather quickly, never to return to it again.

SCHARPLING & WURSTER Chain Fights, Beer Busts, and Service with a Grin (Stereolaffs) 2cd 14.98
Following up on the hilarious and successful "Rock, Rot, Rule" (see AQL #73) comedy cd comes a new collection of radio tomfoolery. On New Jersey's unique and prestigious radio station WFMU, Tom Scharpling hosts an unlikely talk radio show which features interviews from some of our nation's most unlikely, most unsociable, and completely annoying cast of characters. So unlikely, unsociable, and annoying that they actually don't exist: the shows are prank theater a la War of The Worlds meets Firesign Theater meets Larry King. The 'guests' include [a] an uber-music snob, [b] an insane electronics store manager, [c] a pharmaceutical CEO cum politician, [d] the original "Fonz" a.k.a. "The Gorch", and so on. The segment that we most appreciate is the call-in interview with "the music scholar", a self described "educator of music" who prides himself on having seen the Beatles at age 6, the MC5 and Stooges at age 10, talked Big Star into re-forming in the early seventies and reduced a customer to tears at the record store he once ran for expressing interest in the band X (Mr. Music Scholar liked their demos, but thought their albums were bubblegum, no different from the Bay City Rollers!). DJ Scharpling gets more and more annoyed with the snobbish attitudes of his guest, until the interview takes a surprise turn that we won't reveal here. Brilliant.
We tried to play this for our favorite "music scholar" (we'll call him "JW") but his response was, "Oh yeah, I've already got that". Of course. Worth it for this piece alone, although the rest of this double disc set contains lots of laughs too.
RealAudio clip: "The Music Scholar (excerpt 1)"
RealAudio clip: "The Music Scholar (excerpt 2)"
RealAudio clip: "The Music Scholar (excerpt 3)"

SCHARPLING & WURSTER Hippy Justice: The Best Of Scharpling & Wurster On The Best Show On WFMU Volume 3 (Stereolaffs) 2cd 14.98
The first thing we thought when we heard this was, how the hell do these guys do this without cracking up?? Here's the setup: Tom Scharpling is a DJ on WFMU and takes calls from listeners. Ocassionally one of those callers will be Jon Wurster (Superchunk drummer!), portraying any one of a number of annoying characters and the comedy genius that ensues is, well, GENIUS!
The first track is Hippy Johnny, where Wurster calls up as Hippy Johnny and proceeds to discuss his commune where the men make art and the women make dinner, dressed in fur bikinis, and the children manufacture drain cleaner and other not-so-natural products. It's kind of a twisted Tom's of Maine idea. The funny part is how disgusted Scharpling becomes over the course of the 20 minute call, eventually giving up, exasperated and disgusted. The second call is a Wuster again as a guy who apparently used to be in the little kid punk rock band Old Skull, concerning their REUNION tour. An idea that's ridiculous enough to begin with. As the call progresses, we learn that he was only in the band briefly, none of the main members are involved, and a quick sample of their new music displays a drastic new shift in musical direction. Which of course has Scharpling hysterical. Hard to explain how funny this stuff if, you should definitely listen to the sound samples and know that when we play this in the store, everyone freezes, stops what they're doing and listens intently until everyone in the store seems to be laughing uproariously. The rest of the calls involve a cowoker and his nefarious plans for Tom, a phone call from a two inch tall racist, Gene Simmons' rock and roll car dealership and an epic, brutally funny and painful to listen to call from a guy known simply as Kid eBay. From the same guys who brought us the brilliant Rock, Rot And Rule, Chain Fights, Beer Busts, and Service with a Grin, and New Hope For The Ape-Eared. So highly recommended!!!!!
MPEG Stream: "Hippy Johnny"
MPEG Stream: "Darren From Work"

SCHARPLING & WURSTER New Hope For The Ape-Eared (Stereolaffs) 2cd 14.98
Third installment of audio hilarity from WMFU DJ Tom Scharpling's radio show. For those of you unfamiliar with the show or the previous releases "Chain Fights, Beer Busts, and Service with a Grin" and "Rock, Rot, and Rule", Scharpling & Wurster is a spoof talk radio show in which our host, Tom Scharpling is hounded each week by a supposed different phone-in guest -- aka Jon Wurster. Highlights from this two cd set include "Todd the Audio Guru", a sadistic prankster who decides to make a living by ripping off audiophiles after a lark at the local CD boutique; "Chocolageddon", in which Tom is poisoned by a weight loss dessert; a would-be five foot tall, nasal voiced rock star (see album cover for likeness) soliciting band members on the air; an interview with a young man promoting his band while on a Clear Channel sponsored music tour and more! We've got no idea how both Scharpling and Wurster manage to keep themselves from cracking up when conducting these 'interviews'. Very funny stuff, especially for us music geeks.
MPEG Stream: "Mother 13"
MPEG Stream: "Todd And The Audio Guru Pt. 1"

SCHARPLING & WURSTER Rock, Rot & Rule (Stereolaffs) cd 11.98
Finally this old AQ favorite gets reissued! A new cover, but the same side splitting contents.
The story goes something like this: "Rock, Rot, & Rule: The Ultimate Argument Settler" is supposedly a 98-page book which simply lists band names and states whether these groups ROCK, RULE, or ROT. Published with a cover price of $25.00, it is the genius of one Ronald Thomas Clontle. This cd documentation is a live radio interview between WFMU DJ Tom Scharpling and Mr. Clontle, in which beleaguered callers attempt to argue the inaccuracies of Mr. Clontle's analysis that Madness RULE ("because they invented ska"), while the Beatles ROCK ("because they wrote some bad songs like 'Strawberry Fields Forever'"), and Stereolab ROTS ("because they don't use guitars").
Needless to say, if there is anybody who is baffled by the aesthetics of Aquarius, we insist that you buy this, as we agree with ALL of Mr. Clontle's tautological sputterings. As Mr. Clontle predicts, time will vindicate us.
(by the way, Mr. Clontle is a pseudonym for Jon -- the drummer of Superchunk.)
MPEG Stream: "Rock, Rot & Rule [excerpt 1]"
MPEG Stream: "Rock, Rot & Rule [excerpt 2]"

SCHARPLING & WURSTER The Art Of The Slap (Stereolaffs) cd 16.98
BACK IN STOCK! Hilarious. Bizarre. Amazing. As always. Can you tell we're fans?
The humor of Tom Scharpling and Jon Wurster is one of the reasons that New Jersey's WFMU is one of the best radio stations anywhere. Every time a new cd from these two comes out (there's been four previous releases) we drop everything to put it on in the store and listen and laugh our asses off. And every time, customers previously unfamiliar with Scharpling & Wurster start laughing too, ask what the heck we're playing, and instantly buy copies. Basically, the S&W formula is that easily-bemused regular-guy DJ Tom Scharpling is taking calls on this show, when some weirdo and/or jerk (not always obvious as such at first) calls in to talk and the two of them get into some ridiculous verbal battle. Said caller always being played by Jon Wurster. It's a theatre of the absurd, with Scharpling & Wurster spinning some really strange and incredibly funny scenarios which they somehow make almost believable -- in part 'cause they have an uncanny ability not to crack each other up, dunno how they do it, especially since a lot of these calls/tracks go on for upwards of 20 minutes!
Originally we got into S&W 'cause of the indie-rock connection, they love to make fun of rock snobbery (like Wurster's character Ronald Thomas Clontle on the classic Rock, Rot, & Rule). But they don't limit themselves to music-related humor at all -- though the bonus third disc here is devoted entirely to the efforts of the would-be rock star guy originally introduced on New Hope For The Ape-Eared to have his band Mother 13 play on Mount Everest. Meanwhile, disc one features "Jock Squad" (think Geek Squad but different), "The Auteur" (a self-important slasher film director), and "Philly Boy Roy" (a lampooning of such supposed Philadelphia pastimes as the "running of the cheesesteaks" and "Laser Allin"). Disc two has "Andy From Lake Newbridge" (who turns out to live in, not on the lake, and in fact is a carp), "Tornado Todd" (a guy whose life-changing escape from death doesn't stop him from being a total sleazeball), and "Postal Slap Fight" (wherein Tom gets threatened by a guy whose uncle is the Postmaster General). You've got to hear these to understand why they're hilarious, but trust us, they are. Recommended to anyone with a funny bone.
MPEG Stream: "Jock Squad"
MPEG Stream: "The Auteur"
MPEG Stream: "Postal Slap Fight"

SCHULTZ, STEVEN I Forgot To Get A Rap Name (Spam Records) cd 8.98
This Schultz classic has been redone, rerecorded (!) and repackaged for those of you that missed out the first time. Here's what we had to say about it:
You may have seen Steven Schultz reading and eating donuts in the front row of the Mayhem show. Or you may remember him in pigtails and pajamas eating prunes in the pit at the Hammers Of Misfortune show. Or you may remember his hilarious and amazing lo-fi Naked City-ish 'History Of Vats' cd from a few years back. Or you may not know him at all. This cd marks SS's first recorded foray into the world of rap music, and boy, it's something. Musically notable for the fact that the instruments are all real (all played by the multitalented Steve), and dramatically notable for the fact that the skits are all acted out by Steven's friends. And then there's the rapping. White and whiney as you may have expected, but lyrically, well, no one could have expected anyone to take on the persona of a rapping pirate ('Call Me Pinkbeard'), a rapping whale ('Fuck A Harpoon'), a rapping goth ('I Got Bigger Hair Than Robert Smith'), or a rapping eskimo ('Maniac With An Igloo'). Then there's Steve's attack on rap-metal ('Rap-Metal Is Funny')... Yes, it's incredibly dumb, but undeniably fucked and funny. Self-produced cd-r with color cover (art by Steve) and oh-so-essential lyric sheet. Maybe not the next Eminem, but perhaps the next MC Paul Barman?
RealAudio clip: "Fuck A Harpoon"
RealAudio clip: "Call Me Pinkbeard, Mistress Of The High Seas"

SCHULTZ, STEVEN AND FRIENDS Stalin Claus Superstar! (Spam Records) 4cd 14.98
On New Arrivals list #301, we began a perhaps ill advised campaign to relist all of the insane and ridiculous releases by long time aQ pal, and musical, um... genius, Steven Schultz. Now living in Japan, with a wife and a child, he left us a stash of records, so we could spread the word to a whole new generation! Folks who just discovered aQ and the list, might have missed out on some of these gems, none more over the top, baffling and befuddling than this massive 4cd rock opera. Here's what we had to say about it when we first listed it way back in 2001. But be warned, only a very few can handle the brain frying whatthefuck that is STALIN CLAUS SUPERSTAR!!!
Subtitled, Another Suplex Prune Hittite Fantasy! But we think this needs a little more explanation. Argh. Ok, some of you will remember Steven Schultz for his remarkable History of Vats cd, or his rap album, the I Forgot To Get A Rap Name! cd-r. Now, although I doubt the world is ready, he unleashes his most absurd opus yet: the three-and-a-half-hour, four-cd boxed-set rock opera "Stalin Claus Superstar!". And it's only 15 bucks (how do they do it?). Yes, Steve, with co-composer/collaborator Jason Kocol (who, in a small-world-after-all twist, was second runner up in the Guitar Godathon contest that Allan got to judge a few years back!) and a cast of thousands, have created what must be the most STUPID yet impressively massive and well-executed (and thus, sad) home-recorded rock opera (or anything) ever! Musically, this ranges from faux-soundtrack orchestrations to circus-y Frank Zappa/Mr. Bungle goofiness to pretty excellent black metal pastiche and indie-rock parody. Did we mention Frank Zappa? Yes. And if 4-cds of just the music itself wouldn't drive you insane, then there's the crucial matter of the lyrics. This is where it gets *really* stupid. The opera is about, uh, ohmigod I can't cope... concepts/characters like Captain Lou Albano and his Evil Black Metal Beardhairs, a Hittite Salesman, Hulk Hogan, a singing bedpan, Retin-A, Spectral Carl Sagan...argh. Here are some of the song titles: "The Bodyslamming of the Flowcharts in Full Effect", "Check Your Elf Before You Wreck Your Elf", "Fuckin' Ancient Sumer", "Self-Ripping Shirt Negotiations In Grueling Detail"...argh. I give up. Let me just quote from Steve's introduction in the liner notes, where he both describes the opera and attempts to pre-empt criticism: "...the plot ties together cutting-edge neurobiology, pro wrestling, the secrets of Stonehenge, Black Metal madness, the hidden connection between Santa and Stalin, Bronze age tribes of the Mideast, the spread of media empires via satellite communication, and of course the archeological ramifications of the Slim Jim. Why? Why take on a musical project as insanely difficult as it is totally unnecessary? Why do something so complex as to baffle all but the most intelligent, and yet so juvenile as to alienate anyone with half a brain? So preposterous it would embarrass Wagner, yet so...well anyway... The answer is simple: this opera answers the universal human questions of our age...Why do we grow old and die? How does Retin-A really work? What's in that omelet? What happens if a bunch of senile Systems Analysts shoot Randy Savage's brain at an unsuspecting Iraqi plum farmer who fancies himself a Muslim Marqui Marq? Well perhaps the answer to the last question is common knowledge these days, what with the 'internet' and all, but clearly Americans are ready to ask the other questions. If you really want to know the hidden connection between Stalinism and Stonehenge, would you trust N'Sync to provide all the answers? Garth Brooks? Deicide??? No, you'll have to turn to us -- the 'operageneers'!"
The four cds come packaged in a cardboard box, complete with a thick booklet providing you with the entire libretto, and more. Basically, this is the Conet Project of "comedy"! (that is, if you can consider this comedy...)
This also features a special guest star, a certain local metal singer who desperately desires to remain anonymous, who, as a favor for Steve, played the role of Hulk Hogan! ...I also think I heard Bob Dylan on here...
So, if you think pro wrestling characters from the '80s are amusing and that the slang term 'hella' is funny and you like Frank Zappa, or if you are simply a connoisseur of the idiotically ridiculous, this is for you!! Don't say we didn't warn you. Basically, if you can stand to listen to the entire thing, you've got problems. (See http://www.hellodamage.com/warusaru/stalinclaus/finalflow2.gif for a helpful flowchart explaining the, uh, plot.)
MPEG Stream: "Kaos In My Beard"
MPEG Stream: "Untitled"

SCOTT-HERON, GIL I'm New Here (XL Recordings) cd 13.98
We weren't expecting to like this as much as we do, but this record really kills!! His first recording in 16 years, Gil Scott-Heron doesn't overindulge, rather I'm New Here shows a much leaner and meaner side to this artist who has never had a hard time examining his demons. "Me and The Devil" is a contender for single of the year as this Robert Johnson blues classic gets a dark almost Portishead-like update. But this isn't just a younger makeover for a classic artist, it's closer in kin to the respectful reinvigoration of Johnny Cash's later American releases. The arrangements are spare, though inspired by the minimal chill of dubstep in parts, they suit Scott-Heron's tough spoken word turns that pepper the album throughout. The Bill Callahan-penned title track sounds like a world-weary folk dirge from the early seventies by Lee Hazlewood that is a stand-out among manyon here. A fine return to form!
MPEG Stream: "Me & The Devil"
MPEG Stream: "I'm New Here"
MPEG Stream: "I'll Take Care of You"